By RYAN SKAITH

For many, the holidays are full of light, love, family and festivity. But for others, the last weeks of the year can represent loneliness, loss or family tension.

Kristen Peltz, director of wellness services and counseling at Northwest Missouri State University, provided tips for those struggling to cope, noting that everyone deserves peace and a chance for joy during the season.

Combat Loneliness and Isolation

Peltz advises those who find the holidays a time of isolation — perhaps due to the loss of a loved one, children leaving home or separation from family — to actively seek connection. She recommends avoiding the natural tendency to isolate when sad or lonely, instead accepting the generosity of others.

For those spending the holidays alone, she suggests volunteering. Helping others offers a much-needed service, gets a person out into the community and often leads to a positive self-assessment. 

Embrace Imperfection

The holidays are often “a setup for perfectionists,” Peltz says, noting that media tries to convince people they can create a perfect celebration. She recommends giving yourself room to have a wonderful, and wonderfully imperfect, holiday.

Allow the cookies to be store-bought, the guests to argue and the lights to go out. Life happens in all its wondrous chaos and unpredictability, and people should celebrate it.

Set Limits and Prioritize Self-Care

The holiday season can make it difficult to stand up to pushy or critical friends and family, but setting limits is crucial, Peltz advises. She recommends clearly stating what you are willing to do and where you draw the line.

Peltz stresses the importance of self-care. People should take care of themselves as much as they care for others and encourage a more equitable distribution of responsibility. She recommends staying firm when push-back occurs, as others will adjust.

In addition to setting external boundaries, Peltz suggests taking time for yourself, even when surrounded by family. This can be as simple as running an errand, taking a walk or stepping into another room for a brief respite. Even sitting in your car for a few minutes to breathe deeply can provide a much-needed break.

Address Loss and Financial Pressure

For those who are reminded of someone dear during the holidays, honoring that person can be an important part of healing. Peltz suggests rituals like creating a memory box, writing a letter to the loved one or engaging in an activity they enjoyed. She points out that grief, painful as it may be, reflects something wonderful.

If finances are a source of stress, Peltz encourages reconsidering spending. This may involve letting others know you are cutting back on gift-giving. People should release the pressure of gift-giving expectations and the financial stress that comes with them.

Peltz also advises practicing acceptance regarding family dynamics. What hasn’t changed yet is unlikely to change over the holidays. People should take a deep breath, relax and remember that their powers of persuasion, diplomacy or resolve are limited.

Finally, Peltz urges those struggling with persistent mood, stress or loss-related challenges to consider counseling. There is no wrong time of year to ask for help.